Managing Feelings of Rejection and Hurt


We have all been there. 

Upset baby Emma 20.5 years ago

Whether it was a boyfriend or girlfriend who dumped us, the falling out of a best friend, not making a sports team, not making the grade you studied so hard to get, not getting accepted into your desired program… We have all felt it at least once in our lives. Rejection. Hurt. The feeling that no one understands how much you wanted something or how much you worked for something. The feeling that you are not enough, not wanted, not appreciated. Well honeys, let me tell you. You are loved, appreciated, and worthwhile.

I want to share the steps that I take during these hard times to make sure that I crawl back up out of my deep dark pit of self-misery.

My initial reaction is probably your initial reaction. I feel hurt, saddened, and pained. It is perfectly acceptable to let yourself have these moments of grieving. Even for your little losses. It helps to cry out and let your emotions take hold for a little bit. Allow yourself to feel upset free of guilt.

The next step towards my healing is to remember the Bible verse that I had clung to since high school; Jeremiah 29:11 says, “For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” I have to remember that all of my rejections are part of His bigger plan for my life. Once I remember that, it is all up hill from there. I want to share a few more verses about God’s will with you. Deuteronomy 8:5 says, “Know then in your heart that as a man disciplines his son, so the Lord your God disciplines you.” This verse reminds me that what I was planning may not be what He was planning. God does all things for good, so he takes all of our hurt and failures and turns them into disciplinary lessons. These lessons are to remind us to seek out His word and guidance for our everyday lives. Another verse that deals with God’s will is 1 Samuel 12:16; “Now then, stand still and see this great thing the Lord is about to do before your eyes!” This is such a positive reminder that what we may see as failure, God may see as success and an opportunity far greater than what we could have ever planned ourselves.

The third step of recovery is to not dwell in the past. Proverbs 4:25-26 says, “Let your eyes look straight ahead; fix your gaze directly before you. Give careful thought to the paths for your feet and be steadfast in all your ways.” If I were to get another tattoo, it would definitely be this verse. It stands as a constant reminder to not look back to the past. Your life is not about your past. We are more than our failures and insecurities! Philippians 3:13-14 again alludes to moving forwards. It says, “Brothers and sisters, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus.” This verse leads me to one of my bigger chunks of scripture. The final victory.

The final victory was in a church sermon I listened to on Easter day 2020. It really helped put things into perspective for me. The scripture for this sermon was 1 Corinthians 15:50-58;

“I declare to you, brothers and sisters, that flesh and blood cannot inherit the kingdom of God, nor does the perishable inherit the imperishable. Listen, I tell you a mystery: We will not all sleep, but we will all be changed— in a flash, in the twinkling of an eye, at the last trumpet. For the trumpet will sound, the dead will be raised imperishable, and we will be changed. For the perishable must clothe itself with the imperishable, and the mortal with immortality. When the perishable has been clothed with the imperishable, and the mortal with immortality, then the saying that is written will come true: “Death has been swallowed up in victory.”
“Where, O death, is your victory? Where, O death, is your sting?”
The sting of death is sin, and the power of sin is the law. But thanks be to God! He gives us the victory through our Lord Jesus Christ. Therefore, my dear brothers and sisters, stand firm. Let nothing move you. Always give yourselves fully to the work of the Lord, because you know that your labor in the Lord is not in vain.”

This Sermon by Pastor Craig Conner from First Baptist Church of Panama City, Florida, has been one of my favorite sermons in a while. It made me realize that what I would consider as “victories” the Lord does not. The true and final victory is to have a relationship with Christ. Those who have a relationship with God will not die, their bodies will simply be asleep while their souls are rejoicing in the heavens.

My final step in accepting my past and overcoming hurt is to read the Bible more, and to pray fervently. By me turning to Christ in my times of hurt and disappointment, He has led me to many different passages that have helped heal. I have six I would like to share with you.

“Give generously to them and do so without a grudging heart; then because of this the Lord your God will bless you in all your work and in everything you put your hand to.” Deuteronomy 15:10
“Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the Lord your God goes with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you.” Deuteronomy 31:6
“The Lord himself goes before you and will be with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged.” Deuteronomy 31:8
“Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go.” Joshua 1:9
“Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid.” John 14:27
“In her deep anguish Hannah prayed to the Lord, weeping bitterly.” 1 Samuel 1:10

Most of these are fairly self-explanatory, but my favorite two are the first and last ones (Deuteronomy 31:6 & 1 Samuel 1:10). Deuteronomy 31:6 reminds me of an Instagram post I shared on my story a few days ago. It said something like, “I once was told to not cross a lake for someone who will not cross a puddle for you. Then I heard someone say to cross all the lakes for these people. Shower them with the grace that they do not give you. Love people.” I am sure I butchered the quote, but it is okay, I am sure you get the gist. I LOVED this post! It is human nature to want to hold on the grudges and to want to burn the people that burned you, but it goes against my enneagram number two personality to not help people when they need it. I am such a helper and giver that someone could probably punch me in the face, and I would turn around to help them. As for 1 Samuel 1:10, I read this on one of the days where I felt bitter myself. This woman was struggling with not being able to carry a child, and in the midst of her anguish she turned to the Lord and prayed. If someone can turn to God in such a bitter and weak state to pray, so can I.

In closing, I want to leave a link to a sermon from Destiny Worship Center in Florida. It is from December of 2019, but it is really one of my favorites. It pulls at my heartstrings and makes me cry. It is titled You’re Not Forgotten. In my time of struggles and wanting to surround myself with God’s word, I stumbled upon this sermon.


Thank you for reading my jumbled-up thoughts on how I recover from rejection and hurt. I hope some of my words and chosen verses find their way to your heart and help you as well.

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